ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
