Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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