how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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