So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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