Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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