Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
