mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
