Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
