ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
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you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
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So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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