Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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