Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
