I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
