do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
The best revenge is premature balding
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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