If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
