Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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