I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
no. you can't hotbox the world.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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