just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
