I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
