She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
