I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
