I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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