it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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