He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
