You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
