i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
