I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
