Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
