They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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