Nicole vs. Life
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
