all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
