Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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