I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
