My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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