I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
