R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
can u get pink eye on your cock?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
