Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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