u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
