I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
