I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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