i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
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