I don't usually arrange sex via text message
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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