I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
