I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
