I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
