tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
