Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize