So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize