If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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