just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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