I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
