it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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