You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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