I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
