I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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