uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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