i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize
