just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
