help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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