Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
