oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
