yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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