Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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