I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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