He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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