I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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