I want to make a zoo with you.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
