He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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